MY INTERVIEW WITH Cathy RIva, certified mindfulness coach and instructor of A MINDFULNESS FOR TEENS COURSE

 Q: For readers who don’t know your story, can you talk a bit about your upbringing and how you ended up running a mindfulness business?

A: First of all, my name is Cathy Riva and I am from Mobile, Alabama. I grew up in a fairly small town and my parents did the best they could, but they didn’t have a lot of tools to handle emotions. My dad actually is bipolar, so he had some substance abuse problems and definitely some emotional roller coaster turbulence during my childhood which was really hard to understand a long time ago, especially as a child it didn’t make sense. One day he would be super happy and buy me a present and then the next day he would be really angry and I would have no idea what the switch would be to make the effect from one to the other. My childhood was kind of turbulent in that way and I really appreciate that now because I have so much empathy for anyone who is experiencing any kind of pain as a child. I think the steps of my life that led me to teach this mindfulness class is because only with the tools of mindfulness I began to have this perspective to completely love and accept my parents, especially my dad, for their shortcomings and what biochemistry isn’t necessarily someone’s purposefully, malicious like “I am going to get you type of attitude,” it’s actually something you can’t control. So, with mindfulness, I started probably eighteen years ago, has really helped me soften and open up to more love and compassion, especially for people who have biochemistry issues that may be diagnosed or undiagnosed. There is so much kindness that can be spread I think, so I guess that’s really what ultimately led me to this is I learned how to love again in all the dark places where it was hard to love.

Q: How has meditation and other mindfulness tools helped you and your clients get through the challenges of Covid-19?

A: Let me take that question and answer it in two parts, before COVID-19 and after COVID-19. I have been teaching mindfulness, full time, for over 8 years and I have worked with a lot of great organizations, Mission B, Faith in Children, The Path. What I discovered before COVID, is that when I am in schools with kids, they were able to really incorporate some of these practices, whether it is just slowing down and taking a breath or holding the possibility that their could be another perspective or exploring their curiosity as opposed to the goal. Mindfulness, these tools open them up to explore their curiosity in a way that allows them to be more successful and more resilient. Before COVID, these tools were great for anyone of course, not just teens, great for parents too. It allows for more resilience and I have seem that with the outcomes of better grades, better emotional relationships, and better discipline in all kinds of aspects in life with kids. After COVID, what I have noticed is a lot more emotionally distant. We are psychically distant from people and emotionally distant from people. All we have is our family. In the Northeast, we have been quarantined for two months now. So, these tools have really been the emotional intelligence keystone for some kids who get really anxious, who can’t sleep, who have incredible fear of the uncertainty of whether their small things in life have changed or big mature shifts have happened, their parents are sick and they are struggling with a lot of bigger emotional issues. These tools have been able to help them in the moment come back to their body, come back to feeling safe, and come back to knowing that we can’t control the future and we don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, but in this moment we can just breathe and focus on our connection to ourselves. That opens up space for solutions to pop up and then action can appear. These tools have been comforting to people after COVID-19; and before COVID-19, they were really tools of strength and resilience. The people who had those practices before COVID-19, they told me, “we have really turned these practices to help us get to sleep and wake up in a positive attitude. When we lose our footing and get lost in anger or upset in society, they use practices like body scan, breathing, and acupressure to uplift their energy.”

Q: What inspired you to create a course for teenagers, specifically?

A: Between you and I, because IT’S FUN! It is going to be so much fun! Caroline, imagine if every single person on the planet had access, and like you have the same desire I do, to discover how helpful these tools are in our own life, imagine if people took that world mindfulness and they didn’t think of ugh this is like math and science, but they took it as this is the most exciting, fun thing I have ever experienced. What I bring to it, I hope, my choice and desire is to bring fun! My practices aren’t just to breathe in and sit still and breathe. I have probably sixty different ways to practice mindfulness and I’ll bring 8 to 16 of them on these courses because I truly believe not just one practice meets all needs. Some people like acupressure, some people like the body scan, some people like to sit still, and I love to bring variety to people and enjoy the play. I want to give them tools that they feel really comfortable with and they can use to inspire them to be more curious and excited about their lives, about their purpose, why they are on planet earth, and how they can help other people be of service. I am so excited and they can do that all for fun!

Q: What is the biggest message/biggest takeaway you want to be conveyed through this course?

A: I want people to know that they can self soothe, and they have the power to really choose their life. I want to give people insight to themselves. That is really what I want. I want you to be more you, that way I feel good being more me.

Q: If you could offer one piece of advice to a high school student, what would it be and why?

A: Gosh, just one piece of advice, let me just take a pause and think about that. I am going to be silent to just tune in, take a breath, and think about that one piece… What comes up is that the one piece of advice I would give to teens right now is wherever you are, you are exactly where you need to be, and you are so loved. That is kind of two pieces. You are exactly where you need to be, even though we are in a sea on uncertainty. In this sea of uncertainty, the only thing we can ground ourselves in is ourselves. Right now, our feet still can walk, we are lucky enough to have access to feet and walking. Our hips are still supporting our bodies. Our hearts are still beating. Our shoulders are still holding up our head and we can smile. Those of us who have that power of not handicapped, have this gentle ability to be aware of our body and that is what we can be aware of right now. Our time and space, grounded here, and all of the uncertainty, we are exactly where we need to be.